As we all know (or maybe not) but I am 24 years old and single. Which makes me an outcast in my current town, location, and church. I live in a pretty conservative area where most people are marred at the age of 22. I also attend a wonderful church that almost all members spent their entire lives going there and therefore have found their significant others at church or off at college.
Me on the other hand...well I wasn't saved till I was 21 so I never was able to meet my future husband at 11 years old in a small sunday school class. I was also more worried about my friends then boyfriends in high school, more worried about my sorority sisters, school, and work in college, and now here I am today with the big read sign on my forehead screaming SHE IS NOT MARRIED!
Its strange because people will tend to look at me like I have some disease or they feel pity that I haven't found my significant other. They look at me with sad eyes saying "don't worry, it will happen soon."
The funny thing is I want to look at them and ask "Why do you feel sorry for me?" "Am I less significant because I don't have a serious boyfriend or a husband?"
The thing is I love my life just the way it is! I have so many unknowns and crazy things happening right now! I have no idea where I will be living or what I will be doing in the next 4 months even! And for now, I am okay with not having to consider someone else's opinion about what job I should take or if I can move away or not.
Being single and 24 isn't something to feel sorry about. It also isn't something that should be looked down upon. And it most certainly should not be the reason I jump into any relationship!
I am not trying to say don't date. I think dating is great! But for me, I watch girls go out with different guys all the time and I wonder, do they really think that these guys could be something more in their life or is it just for fun? If you date for fun, go you! However, I don't. I don't see the point of going out with someone unless I can see that there might be some potential in there.
The reason I think this way is because I spent a lot of time in college chasing and dating the wrong guys. I knew that things wouldn't work out yet I dated them anyway and experienced my fair share of broken hearts. Then I would go home, cry to my best friend, and gain 5lbs eating Ben and Jerrys! The cycle was endless! Until my friend asked me, why do you keep doing this to yourself? We both know that these guys aren't boyfriend material, and if that is what your looking for, why do you date them?
That TRUTH hit home hard! She was so right? Why was I not being patient and waiting for a guy who didn't have the word SWAG written on his T-shirt to pop into my life? yes, I dated a guy who had a SWAG T-shirt..please go ahead and judge.
I guess the point I am trying to make here is that if you are going out to date for fun that is great, but do just that, date for fun! If something works out great if not great. If you are going out to date for a boyfriend then wait patiently. Don't jump into every single relationship that is headed your way! In fact, the Millionaire matchmaker says to make a list of 5 things that are non-negotionable in a future boyfriend. If the guy asking you out does not have all 5 of those things, then whats the point!?
My faith allows me to believe that there is someone out there for me, and I am going to wait patiently until then. Regardless of your faith, you should always guard your heart! Don't let all guys in, wait for the right ones. Yes, you might have 4 serious relationships before you meet Mr. Right, but its much better then 243232 dates then end up in tears or you hating the guy who could have been a great friend :)
You will be SO much better off having waited than you would be if you were already married and settled. I'm not putting any one down who married young... but I've been there, I did it, and it didn't work out... because at such a young age, I had NO idea who I was or what I wanted in life. This time in your life is so much better spent on YOU than settling down with someone else. It will be worth it, and you'll be better for it, I promise!
ReplyDeleteLOVE love love love love love this! You are so wise and saving yourself so much heartache! Someone once told me "if God has you waiting longer than you expected, he must be preparing something that is MORE than you expected" If that's the case I am totally in.
ReplyDeletePS: Love the non-negotiables. I have a card in my nightstand listing the non-negotiables on one side and the negotiables on the other.
YES! I have to defend my singleness all the time, drives me batty! I was saved at 12 and I still didn't meet my soulmate in Sunday school class! You've failed me sunday school!
ReplyDeleteLet me just give you a big, virtual HUG! Good for you for standing up for your beliefs and what you feel is right for you. Just because a lot of other women in your town who are your age and are married, doesn't mean you should follow suit just because you feel like you should. Your one and only is out there and if you have to wait a little longer, then so be it! :)
ReplyDeleteI love this so much! I have been known to chronically be in relationships that just don't suit me, as in, every relationship. And then when my heart is broken I don't know what I did wrong. I've finally got to the point where I'm ready to date someone in a healthy way, not just getting attached from having fun.
ReplyDeleteThis is so right! I never guarded my heart before and finally decided to wait for the RIGHT guy, someone who would help me in my faith and it has made all the difference in the world. Hold out and seriously stick with the non-negotiables!!
ReplyDeletehttp://thevirginialine.blogspot.com/
Love this! I lived in a conservative church town, as well, and being 25 and single was crazy! I can't tell you how many people tried to make me feel like I was less special because I was single. It sometimes came in the form of words or sometimes just the way they looked at me when I said I was single. I wouldn't trade it for the world, though! Being single gives us a lot of opportunity that married women don't have! I try to think of the positives :)
ReplyDeleteI love this girl! I grew up in church and attended a Christian college. The running joke was that girls came there to get their M.R.S. degree and "Ring by Spring" was a real thing. So many people got married there before their JUNIOR year of college, ACK! I can't even imagine. Although we got married at 24 and 25, which might be young to some people... the timing was perfect for us. Jared came along when I was least expecting it! ;) Two of my very best friends are 27 and single and they are TOTALLY okay with it... as anyone should be. It's worth the wait, 100000% :)
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