Sunday, May 25, 2014

Path of the Single Girl - Breakups and Legs

Talk about major writers block. I literally almost titled this post Single. Mingle. Tingle. Lingle. Flingle. 

LOL. Seriously, what does that even mean? 

When I thought of Path of the Single Girl I was thinking I would have these posts on lock down, because lets face it, I am a PRO at the single life. 

In fact, I recently encountered a crying student in the hallway and heard about the schools most recent break up. It definitely broke my heart to hear how upset said person was…but it also got me thinking…

Being single and not having to face a break up is AWESOME! Nothing feels worse then having your heart broke. Except when everyone tells you its going to be okay and you want to punch all of them in the face because they don't quite understand that no, everything will not be okay, the love of my life just broke up with me, how am I going to be okay????? 

….8 months later you realize that in fact, your friends were right and everything turned out to be, as they said, okay. So okay that you now are dating, have lost weight, bought a gym membership, cut your hair, bought a new wardrobe, and stopped shaving your legs daily. 

I just wish I could have expressed this concept to said student but I realized as a pre-teen and teenager, there is nothing I could have said to make them feel better. 

What does this post have to do with being single? Nothing, except enjoy the fact that you don't have to shave your legs daily. 

What advice would you have given this broken hearted teen!? 

Thursday, May 22, 2014

Embracing the Change

Why does it feel like every time something in your life changes, it all happens at once? So many big changes this week!!! 

I have officially committed to and accepted an 8th grade US History teaching position in Texas! This is the real deal now! 2 months and 1 week till moving date! Ahhh! 

I really haven't vocalized this on the blog butttt I will be having a very much medically needed cosmetic surgery in 2.5 weeks! Let's just say there are certain parts of my upper body that will be getting much smaller soon :) my back and neck truly can't wait. 

So since the best three months are nothing but change I have decided to cut my hair off, I mean why not!?! 

I am sure that all of this change will bring a panic attack soon but until then I  embracing the very exciting things happening in my life and thanking god everyday for the blessings he has given me :) 

How do you cope with change!? 

Monday, May 19, 2014

The Path of the Single Girl-Changes

The past few weeks I have had this bad boy up and going things have been kind of funny and light hearted. My intention with the Single Girl posts is never to be negative or make people feel sorry for me. Its a spot where I can be real, and have people who are in a similar position share their stories as well as all you engaged and married folks out there share your advice and think back to the times where you might have been in my shoes. 

Lets talk about change and being single. They kind of go hand in hand. I truly am SO happy with being single right now because there are so many big changes in my life and it is honestly nice not having another person to worry about. For instance, I am moving to Houston Texas from Michigan in less than three months. If I was not single, this move would suck. I couldn't imagine leaving a significant other behind. And I am truly thankful that I do not have to worry about that.

However, there comes a point in your life where your facebook, instagram, twitter, vine, and actual mail box fills up with diamond rings, wedding pics, engagement photos, save the dates, etc. And at that point it hits you.

You are alone.

Like alone alone. No person even in the distance to consider alone. 

Frankly, it sucks. Its a reminder of how happy you could be if you finally found that other person to spend the rest of your life with. And yes, you may have some big things going for you like a new job or house. But is it really that cool if you have no one to share it with!? 

You may be rolling your eyes right now or thinking share this stuff with your friends! Well, you also hit that age when all your friends are married. Literally almost all of them. They no longer want to to go out till 2 am (which is okay because I can no longer stay up that late either), they always have to "ask" before making plans, often times they have plans spending with family members. And the relationship changes. No longer do you have everything in common. 

Does it mean your not friends anymore? Absolutely not. But these friends can't fully understand what your feeling. They can tell you till their blue in the face: 

         "Don't worry, it will happen when you least expect it."
"Seriously, it will happen, just give it time."
"Mr. Right is right around the corner."

LOL if he is right around the corner thats a bold face lie because I checked and he aint there! 

These sayings might be true, but it does not make you feel any better. They are standing there happily married, engaged, or in a relationship and your standing there single as a pringle. Does it mean you shouldn't listen to them? Absolutely not! I think I am just trying to say this:

Yes, it probably will happen when you least expect it
and if it doesn't I blame all of you because thats what
you keep telling me. However, just because everyone
and their mom tells you it will happen when
you least expect it doesn't make the pain
of being lonely go away. Its not like you hear this
great advice and perk right up. Being lonely is a
real emotion. And while the entire world and their stuffed animals
seem to be living happily ever after I think this…

This man is going to be better then I could ever dream of and I will appreciate
our relationship more than I could have ever thought. He will love me
like I have never been loved before and he will pursue me
like a dying man in the desert pursues water. Why? because
I have been waiting ever so patiently and when the day finally comes, I know
10000% what I want and how I deserve to be treated. I love me for me
and some day some lucky man will love me too :)

Monday, May 12, 2014

The path of the single girl-vacations

 This might seem strange, vacations and being single!? I'll tell you that being single and vacations go hand in hand after my first hand experience in Hilton Head for the past 9 days :) 

First off, I am in love with this island! It's seriously amazingly beautiful 

Check out this poolside view 

Or just dipping my feet into the ocean tide 

This trip was absolutely amazing yet it reminded me that I am as single as ever! How might you ask!? 

Well I am the only single one in my family. Both of my YOUNGER sisters will be sportin a new diamond soon while I just move across country for a job :) and honestly, it's the way I like it. 

I would be lying if I said that being single doesn't suck at times. Like on vacations when your entire family is on their phones talking to their significant others and you just chill in front of the TV watching the NFL draft (hello boys, I watch the draft!) or when you are walking in the beach and they all mention how the only thing that could make this better is if their significant other was there while I am looking forward to hanging out with my best friends when I get home. Or the fact they can't wait to be home to be in the arms of another and I'm pushing for us to stay a second week! I have no one to rubs home too :) 

I think the best part about being single on vacations the amount of quality time you spend with your family or whoever is there on the trip. I had no one to worry about at home so all my time and energy went to making memories with my family.

Me and my lovely mom :) 

I also got to focus on getting a great tan and trying out some different styles with out being judged or worrying about if significant other thought I looked crazy! 

Loving the fadora

Trying some wavy to the side beach hair 

Point of this post? Well my vacation was probably one of my favorites! But also, while being single can totally suck it can also be such a blessing to be independent and worrying about only you :) so focus on the positive things and e thankful for this time in your life because it won't last forever! 

P.s. This was really cool! I went to this place where I picked out my own oyster shell and cracked it open to find my very own and unique pearl! You never knew the size or color of your pearl. After you got to pick out your setting and get it sized! Here is the final product :) 

Friday, May 9, 2014

SLAM Poetry-Roller Coaster Love

Summer love a dusty road, the ideal love story between me and you. You see, you came into my life broken. You were broken because you didn’t know what it was like to be loved and I was broken because I all I wanted was someone to care about me.

I needed someone to show that they understood the way I was, that I was acceptable and okay and normal and you gave me that attention. That night in December for the first time you grabbed my hand. You linked each finger between mine and we intertwined. Our lives together had begun and although we would come and go and that one embrace held our future. Because when you would let go I would reach and when I would let go you would come back to me and forever, forever our fingers linked.

Your soft green eyes melted mine and I could read your soul. I could see you broken and undone and longing for love and I wanted to give it to you. I wanted all of you forever. But we were so young and we didn’t know what it meant to be us, to have the love that we have, to share the things we shared, and one night we went for walk along the lake. The moon was bright and its light glowed down on us and you held me in your arms and looked into my eyes and I let you see what was inside.

I kissed your soft lips and you kissed mine and once again we became intertwined, more physical this time though because we lay in the grass and we watched the stars and we knew that this moment forever would be remembered because you were more than just a high school love, you were more than just a hook up, you were a part of me, forever and ever.

We had our good times, we did, but we fought because we cared. And we would yell and scream and not talk for days then we would realize what life was like with out one and another and I couldn’t bare it any longer and I would pick up the phone to hear your voice and we would laugh at how stupid we were and kiss and make up and we were fine.

So fine that I wanted you to commit. I wanted you to commit to just me and although you already did physically and mentally I needed that word that would mean to me you were mine and I was yours but you see you couldn’t give that to me and you told me you were leaving and you would not be back and I couldn’t stand the thought of you gone forever and I would never see you again I thought.

That night you left we hung out with friends and we laughed and we talked and it became the end and I came up to you and gave you a hug and you embraced me for so long I could not give up everything we had or month and months was ending in that moment and I looked into your eyes and you looked into mine and we were hurt and scared and the thought of loosing each other we could not bare and I turned and walked away and you watched me leave and when I turned the corner I felt like someone had killed me. I felt that my heart was gone and I became numb and I got in the car and there was a love song and the tears began to flow and I couldn’t know that this was it and you were gone and my life was going to be done.

You called every day and we text all the time and I wanted you to know that you were still mine but we drifted apart day after day the distance soon got in our way and we forgot each other and forgot each others names and I began to love another and you did the same and we grew up and years went by and we would check in on each other to see how the time had flown by

Then the day came when you would leave again, you in your uniform with a gun in hand. I remember texting you telling you to stay in touch because the thought of loosing you again was just to much and I prayed everyday for GOD to keep you safe and I watched your life through your facebook page and then one day you messaged me you were safe and I we talked for days and days.

After 9 months of dirt and despair and some of your friends lost their lives out there but you returned home with out a single wound and Christmas day was the best Christmas I knew.

I picked you up that night in my car, and I will never forget your smile because it melted my heart and the three plus years of not seeing each other or hearing each others voice became clear that I still needed you in my life and I wanted you there. You got in the passenger seat and your teeth shined so bright, your hair cut short and your voice in the night brought back every memory I had ever had and we talked and laughed and shared our past and couldn’t not believe it had been so long I could not believe you were laying in my arms.

When you kissed me, it felt like my world was safe and the world had stopped for that second so we could embrace and you held me so tight and I hoped you didn’t let go because the safeness I felt was deeper and better than anything I had known and the love I was searching for was suddenly right there and it felt like a dream, a dream that would turn into a nightmare because you left again and this time might be for good and I am back to the exact place I stood where you leave and I wait and some day I hope to see you again

See our love is fate, and like I said before we linked hands but it meant so much more The rest of our lives our roads will intertwine and we will see each other and catch up on lost time and the love we have is real and true and I hope you love me too.

-written in 2009

Monday, May 5, 2014

The Path of The Single Girl - wedding invites..YIKES!

Lets talk about weddings shall we!?
Yes, This is my physically fighting my sister over the bouquet…not my proudest moment lol

I love them! I am a true sucker for love and all the romantic stuff. I think that may be the reason I have dated complete losers of the years, I fall for their witty pick up lines. Every. Single. Time.

Anyway, I love going to weddings. You can expect a full on water works show at every wedding I attend. Regardless if I have known the person for 2 decades or 2 minutes, I just loose it when the bride walks down the isle and the guy looks at her all lovey dovey. If the guy breaks down and cries, its over for me. I go into one of those cries where I can’t breathe and it sounds like I am suffocating.

As much as I love weddings, I hate being single at them. Why? Well duh because everyone is in love and I am sitting by myself. The worst thing about weddings is receiving the wedding invite. Addressed to “Erica Ashley and Guest” UGHHH. I have no guest! Of course I can bring my best friend, but if he attends any more weddings with me people might start thinking we are married.

So upon receiving my most recent wedding invite addressed to “Erica Ashley and Guest” I decided to attend STAG. I know a lot of people there and I don’t want to have my friend pay for a guest that I am not even that into, or that I found using Tinder. Awk. So after telling my mom that I would be attending wedding solo, she had the nerve to tell me…..


Talk about single embarrassing moments! Hey all! My name is Erica Ashley and I not only am single and couldn’t find/bring a date to this wedding so I brought my sister! It’s like bringing your cousin to homecoming!

I nicely told my mom that as much as I love that younger bundle of joy she brought into the world that she would not be attending the wedding with me. So as of now I am RSVPing Erica Ashley- alone, proud, and ready to take on the world!

Maybe that’s a little to much…

Any great wedding date stories from you all!?