Thursday, November 21, 2013

Dating Disaster

Wow, check me out blogging up a storm this week! You all might be sick of hearing so much from me, but I could not pass this up this link-up: online dating disasters....

Lets not just go for the onlines, lets really take a look at my past and go through the fine men I have dated shall we.

1) The football star. Cool you won a state championship....8 years ago. Yes, we went to the same high school, and sure I knew who you were on our blind date due to your dazzling football days. I just didn't realize we were living in the past. But watching your football film on our second date for hours and calling it a movie night....

2) The cheater. At least be smart about it! Calling me over when your ex is there and locking your bedroom door pretending to "not be home" was not your smartest move. 10 minutes later exiting the building with said girl and looking me in the eye as you walk down the stairs. HA, you couldn't figure out why I was upset...maybe you should be considered "The idiot" rather than "the cheater." 

3) The fixer-upper. It was my goal to fix you. Man, your life was a mess! I just wanted to be that girl who you would give up all your bad ways to come around to the nice young man I could see you becoming. Except I am not that girl, and you will not give up those ways, and this cycle will repeat for 6 years...

4) The non-committer. Scared to be in a relationship? Scared to use the gf/bf words? Have no fear, the non-committer is here! After months of "being together" and "hanging out" but refusing to commit I decided to move on. Except you thought we were actually dating and described me to our group of friends as a "really mean girl" (okay, maybe you used harsher words) but seriously, talk about mixed signals! 

5) The younger guy. I really have no complaint about you! You were fun, great to hang out with, and could always make me laugh. The only downfall, wrong age at the wrong time. 

6) The poser. Oh yes, here is the online dating story. So my wonderful roommate decided to put me on some online dating site. I really can't remember which one. After she made my profile she showed me and we laughed at all the weirdo guys we were finding (seriously, I got a hit from a guy named Mr. Peepee....he was a bachelor...only on the weekends when his wife was out of town) What a joke! Any how, I tried to delete my account but apparently there is some online dating you rule you have to wait 24 hours. 

So the next day I went back to my account to delete it and had a message from some guy who seemed halfway normal. I responded to him and we had a nice 15 minute chat. 

Let me inform you he could see the pictures of me my roommate had posted to my profile but I couldn't see any of his. We talked for a good 30 minutes. He told where he went to college, how old he was, blah blah blah. He finally allowed me to see his pictures and I realized....I had already gone on a date with him a year and a half before this!!! 

Seriously, he asked me to his fraternity semi formal a year and a half prior! And now he not only could see my pictures and realize he was talking to but he lied about EVERYTHING he told me! 

Never again will I online date, or for that matter date any of my above fine men.