Wednesday, November 6, 2013

Genuine Fears

It's about to get REAL in here.

Normally I am all fun and games. I like this spot to be free and fun, nothing to heavy, nothing to serious.

Except, tonight I am REALLY struggling with something, that in reality isn't a huge deal. I am wondering if anyone else out there is struggling with this issue either...the fear of being alone. 

Okay, this kinda sounds dramatic, and to be honest, if I was reading this I would reassure myself that no, it probably won't happen. But then I sit here with the what if it does...

I like to think of all of the things I do have. Like an amazing family, awesome friends, a very fulfilling career. Yes, all of those things will keep my fulfilled in life, except I will always think that one piece is missing.

I am a hopeless romantic. I am not just going to settle for anyone. I am going to be head of heels in LOVE before I make serious commitment. Yet I genuinely get nervous that love like that isn't out there for me. 

Yes, it might be all of the recent weddings and engagements, or that fact that out of all my super close friends I am THE only single person. I guess I am just worried that I will miss out on that experience in life.

Sure, I have so many wonderful things that I listed above, but I WANT to experience a love like that. 

Now, I am not saying I am unhappy, because I am defiantly happy. I just think I could be happier...is that bad!? 

So at this point, people can tell me "Don't worry, you are only 23! You have so much time." I realize that, but it doesn't really ease the fear. So I will focus on what I do have, and wait patiently (like I have been) to see if and when that part of my life will happen! 

Sincerely,
Forever alone (haha okay I am done being dramatic now)

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7 comments:

  1. You definitely won't be alone forever, you're too awesome! I felt like that until I met my bf of the past 4 years, and I promise you that you will find love!

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  2. honestly, you'll meet someone when you least expect it. i met my hubs when i had just broken up with someone after a turbulent 3yrs, he was on his way towards a breakup and we met and hung out for a while not expecting anything and bam! things were awesome. enjoy your life and the things you love; love WILL find you!!

    -kathy
    Vodka and Soda

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  3. My mom always told me that anyone can get married if they lower their standards enough. Think about it this way, you could go out and get a boyfriend in a HEARTBEAT. But...would he be good enough for you? Probably not! So don't see being single as a bad sign, think of it as not wasting your time before the right one comes along!! One of my best friends never dated in high school or college, she just never found someone she connected really well with. Then BAM one day she met him (when she was 23!) and now they're getting married in September! So, don't stress...your time is coming!

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  4. This is my biggest fear too. I try not to dwell on it because I end up having a panic/anxiety attack. I just keep reminding myself that I would rather wait than settle. Even though some days I question whether or not my standards are too high and I'm being too picky, I know that I'm not. The person I marry is who I'm going to spend the rest of my life with, I want to spend it with someone who makes me happy and loves me as much as I love them.

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  6. Yep! I'm right there with you. I think my standards are so high that I'll never find someone I want to commit with. Sure, I have fun with guys, but nothing serious. I really think it'll take God to make me fall in love with someone again. It's too stressful and too risky.

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  7. you can't rush love!! I'm single as single can be, and have never even been in serious relationship. I enjoy being single and I like to remind myself that it is truly just a season. I will not always be alone......and someday I will miss this season of singleness! And better to be alone, than married and lonely!! xoxo girl, don't get discouraged!

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