Summer love a dusty road, the ideal love story between me
and you. You see, you came into my life broken. You were broken because you
didn’t know what it was like to be loved and I was broken because I all I
wanted was someone to care about me.
I needed someone to show that they understood the way I was,
that I was acceptable and okay and normal and you gave me that attention. That
night in December for the first time you grabbed my hand. You linked each
finger between mine and we intertwined. Our lives together had begun and
although we would come and go and that one embrace held our future. Because
when you would let go I would reach and when I would let go you would come back
to me and forever, forever our fingers linked.
Your soft green eyes melted mine and I could read your soul.
I could see you broken and undone and longing for love and I wanted to give it
to you. I wanted all of you forever. But we were so young and we didn’t know
what it meant to be us, to have the love that we have, to share the things we
shared, and one night we went for walk along the lake. The moon was bright and
its light glowed down on us and you held me in your arms and looked into my
eyes and I let you see what was inside.
I kissed your soft lips and you kissed mine and once again
we became intertwined, more physical this time though because we lay in the
grass and we watched the stars and we knew that this moment forever would be
remembered because you were more than just a high school love, you were more
than just a hook up, you were a part of me, forever and ever.
We had our good times, we did, but we fought because we
cared. And we would yell and scream and not talk for days then we would realize
what life was like with out one and another and I couldn’t bare it any longer
and I would pick up the phone to hear your voice and we would laugh at how
stupid we were and kiss and make up and we were fine.
So fine that I wanted you to commit. I wanted you to commit
to just me and although you already did physically and mentally I needed that
word that would mean to me you were mine and I was yours but you see you
couldn’t give that to me and you told me you were leaving and you would not be
back and I couldn’t stand the thought of you gone forever and I would never see
you again I thought.
That night you left we hung out with friends and we laughed
and we talked and it became the end and I came up to you and gave you a hug and
you embraced me for so long I could not give up everything we had or month and
months was ending in that moment and I looked into your eyes and you looked
into mine and we were hurt and scared and the thought of loosing each other we
could not bare and I turned and walked away and you watched me leave and when I
turned the corner I felt like someone had killed me. I felt that my heart was
gone and I became numb and I got in the car and there was a love song and the
tears began to flow and I couldn’t know that this was it and you were gone and
my life was going to be done.
You called every day and we text all the time and I wanted
you to know that you were still mine but we drifted apart day after day the
distance soon got in our way and we forgot each other and forgot each others
names and I began to love another and you did the same and we grew up and years
went by and we would check in on each other to see how the time had flown by
Then the day came when you would leave again, you in your
uniform with a gun in hand. I remember texting you telling you to stay in touch
because the thought of loosing you again was just to much and I prayed everyday
for GOD to keep you safe and I watched your life through your facebook page and
then one day you messaged me you were safe and I we talked for days and days.
After 9 months of dirt and despair and some of your friends
lost their lives out there but you returned home with out a single wound and
Christmas day was the best Christmas I knew.
I picked you up that night in my car, and I will never
forget your smile because it melted my heart and the three plus years of not
seeing each other or hearing each others voice became clear that I still needed
you in my life and I wanted you there. You got in the passenger seat and your
teeth shined so bright, your hair cut short and your voice in the night brought
back every memory I had ever had and we talked and laughed and shared our past
and couldn’t not believe it had been so long I could not believe you were
laying in my arms.
When you kissed me, it felt like my world was safe and the
world had stopped for that second so we could embrace and you held me so tight
and I hoped you didn’t let go because the safeness I felt was deeper and better
than anything I had known and the love I was searching for was suddenly right
there and it felt like a dream, a dream that would turn into a nightmare
because you left again and this time might be for good and I am back to the
exact place I stood where you leave and I wait and some day I hope to see you
again
See our love is fate, and like I said before we linked hands
but it meant so much more The rest of our lives our roads will intertwine and
we will see each other and catch up on lost time and the love we have is real
and true and I hope you love me too.
-written in 2009
